Shark Week! The Best Moments of Video Game Shark Violence to Celebrate Shark Week

Image via Complex Original

Is it a realistic portrayl of sharks? Probably the most realistic on this list.

The NES Jaws title is a misshapen amalgam of the first 1975 Jaws film and the final fourth film Jaws: The Revenge.  With enough time and patience players can attempt to steer the prow of their ship into the still beating heart of Jaws. Of course, since this is an NES game, that proves monumentally difficult. Players will probably spend the majority of their time actually catching starfish and fighting stingrays. Fun.

Is it a realistic portrayl of sharks? I'm going to say yes, because dolphins are magic.

Don't believe us about dolphins actually being ancient wizards trapped in underwater mammal form? Then why does Ecco sing to ancient underwater crystal glyphs, travel through time, and eventually travel to the lost city of Atlantis?

Because he's an ocean wizard. Fighting sharks with your dolphin snout is one of the most rewarding aspecets of Ecco's in-game mechanics. Ecco the Dolphin is still one of the best methods of venting your frustration towards sharks to be found anywhere.

Is it a realistic portrayl of sharks? Zombie sharks aren't real...yet.

The Neptune Shark from Resident Evil 1, as well as Resident Evil Outbreak and Umbrella Chronicles, is essentially all of your nightmares rolled up into one with a pair of gills slapped on for good measure.

A great white shark hopped up on T-Virus? It's like the scientistst who work at the Umbrella Corporation sort of vacantly look around a room and decide to inject what's closest.

"What's that a printer? Fuck it, inject that shit."

Is it a realistic portrayl of sharks? If they make sharks in safety vest orange, it is.

The Lurker sharks in Jak and Daxter operate more as a mechanism for keeping players from wandering too far out into the open water. While you may not get to inflict the same amount of cathartic, man-on-shark violence as other entries on this list, a shark that swallows players whole should still get a mention.

Stray to deep into dangerous water, and you will be greeted with a roar, followed by a heartbeat. If you don't make it to shore before the heartbeat reaches you, you're shark food. 

Is it a realistic portrayl of sharks? When you've done that much cocaine? Sure.

Scarface: The World Is Yours took more than its fair share of liberties with the story of Tony Montana. Tony, somehow surviving one of the most iconic murders ever captured on film, must rebuild his empire once more. Yeah, you're right, it makes no sense. Since Miami is surrounded on all sides by water it's only right that players may want to explore the world around them.

Well, you'd be wrong. Spend too much time in the water and you're treated to a gruesome execution far more efficent than the one at the end of the Scarface film.

Is it a realistic portrayl of sharks? Yes, because punching sharks works.

Far Cry 3's Jason Brody was many things. Hang-glider, errant frat-boy, tribal tatto proponent, the man's interest are as diverse as the jungle wildlife he skins throughout the course of the game. Speaking of skinning, if you want to craft a heavy duty wallet, you're going to need that shark skin as a component.

You're going to have to get your fists wet. Sure there are easier wasy to skin a shark, but punching a bullhead shark in the face multiple times is a much grander testament to your masculinity than simply using a rifle.

Is it a realistic portrayl of sharks? In the future of 2007 all things are possible.

We've seen zombie sharks, sharks that appear from thin air, and sharks that can be defeated merely with a sound bout of fisticuffs. Too bad none of those categories can contain the sheer brutal metal that is Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon's cyber shark. You can tell it's from the future because of the word 'cyber' in front of it. 

This time all shark based threats are handled with deft precision in the form of your laser katana. Was there a single person that didn't like this game?

Is it a realistic portrayl of sharks? Sharks would eat a gorilla, so yes.

Slow moving, annoying, and easily capable of ending your session underwater in an instant, Chomps from the Donkey Kong Country series was a bitch. Chomps Jr., the more common enemy from the games, was still dangerous, but far easier to defeat thanks to a little help from Enguarde the Swordfish. 

So to recap: you can control a gorrilla that can swim underwater for hours at a stretch and ride a swordfish to do battle with sharks. Sure, why the hell not?

Is it a realistic portrayl of sharks? Why does a shark need flippers and a snorkel...

Pretty much the least realistic portrayl of sharks on this entire list, this anthropomorphized shark comes to us courtesy of Viewtiful Joe. While he was a pain in the ass to beat, he has obviously suffered some sort of past trauma. He struggles to finish sentences and is forced to breathe through a an oxygen tank. Sad, really.

Is it a realistic portrayl of sharks? The gold standard for shark attack simulators.

Jaws Unleashed exists in that rare Venn Diagram segment of "How the fuck did this game get made?' and "Why was there only one of these made?"

What the game lacks in control, focus, direction, narrative, cohesive camera controls, and pretty much everything that makes a video game a video game, it makes up for in BEING A FUCKING SHARK. Often cited as one of the gorier games of the mid-aughts, the game, on a technical level, is pretty much broken. What you get to indulge in is ripping apart swimmers (often limb by limb), battling Orcas and Hammerheads, and the unique pleasure of playing one of the worst games ever crapped out.