"You think I don't appreciate art? You think I don't understand fashion? You think I'm not hip? You think I'm pathetic? A nerd? A lard-ass fatso? You think I'm shit? Well, you're wrong, 'cause I'm champagne and you're shit. Until the day you die, you, not me, will always be shit." —Jon Lovitz as Andy Kornbluth in Happiness (1988)