Drunkard of the year: Craig Sager, hands down
Registered meth labs: 3
Total strip clubs: 7
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): Cop accidentally shoots suspect during arrest
Number of IHOPs: 1

The former home of the four largest breweries in the world and the one-time top beer-producing city in the world loves its liquor—there's no doubt about that (Milwaukee Brewers...get it?). And, apparently, so do its visitors. In April, TNT sideline reporter Craig Sager took a break from trolling the world with his terribly unstylish style to pass out drunk amidst several college students during the first round of 2013 NBA Playoffs. You can tell he's plastered by how wonked-out his eye is, but at least he was a good sport about it all. Milwaukee'll do that to you.

On a more violent tip, last year police chief Edward A. Flynn said that 85 percent of shooting victims and suspects in the city have "extensive" criminal records. This nearly became a prophecy when a man chasing after an 18-year-old burglary suspect opened fire on the teen. Both men were arrested, and that's Milwaukee in a nutshell.