5 Lessons Learned on Last Night's "Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta" (Season 2, Episode 12)

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I’ve written about terrible people in pop culture and politics for quite some time now, so I can say with full confidence that Kirk Frost’s antics on this season of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta are the reason why people hope there’s a hell. It’s almost impressive to see Rasheeda’s husband find a new way to top a highly disrespectful act against his wife week after week, only he can’t even get a backhanded compliment now because he won’t own up to being selfish. After his fun with the freaks at Coochie Cabin, Benzino reminded Kirk that he’s the single man, not him. In response, Kirk went played defense, claiming that Rasheeda gave him a “pass” to do as he pleases. It’s a talking point he repeated to Traci Steele when she spotted him out with one of his sidepieces and even to Rasheeda’s face after being confronted about his cheating. In reality, Rasheeda said “do you” to Kirk, which was not code for “Cheat on my big, pregnant self with a bunch of “popcorn hoes” and have it premiered during a highly-rated viewing block on a basic cable station.

But, in respect to some nominal level of fairness, y’all, I suppose we can take the following lesson: You have to be very specific when you tell your no good, shifty, cheating sum’bitch significant other “do you” during a rough patch. And for the record, Rasheeda, even though you hate her to her core, K. Michelle has a great song for this occasion called “Kiss My Ass.” Can pregnant women drink Moscato? If so, ask Mona Scott Young for a case of her new brand of twist-off Moscato mix and have a sip as you sing that song to yourself. It gets better. 

P.S. To this “Mary Jane” person happy to be somebody’s mistress on TV: Wherever you left your self-worth, grab some gloves and go on a scavenger hunt. 

Last night, recurring supporting cast member Ariane Davis revealed to K. Michelle that she’s long had big dreams of singing another sad love song in the music industry and that she’d like to get her start as one of her background singers. Now, some people immediately took this as Ariane doing nothing more than trying to create a storyline for more camera time. Uh, so what? In the immortal words of Ronnie from The Players Club, “Closed mouths don’t get fed.” In fact, based on the preview of next week’s episode, that quote applies to Ariane more than most realized. Anyhow, Ariane showed up to the audition looking like strep throat, sour grapes, and Ursula the Sea Witch’s voice-stealing spell jumped her, so needless to say, she won’t be seen on tour anytime soon.

However, she wasn’t as bad as that mean queeny man who tried to score five seconds of fame ridiculing her in the nastiest of ways. Anyone who does that is an awful person who should go sit in the sauna and not leave until they sweat the terrible out. Like, if Missy Elliott spotted her in an alleged alternative club back in 1996 or so, Ariane could’ve easily been a Goldmind artist. You know, like Gina Thompson’s not-as-good cousin or something. Ariane, you find yourself a vocal coach and you try again next season.

A fight between the mamas of Lil’ Scrappy and Erica was bound to happen. After all, Momma Dee has called Erica a “bitch” several times (rea: every episode) and has routinely shaded Mingnon for her crack head past. And naturally, the fight started because of Momma Dee's antic. She purposely reached out to Erica and co-signed her suggestion to pawn the engagement ring Scrappy gave her. But when Scrappy confronted Erica about this, Momma Dee conveniently left out her involvement in that process. As entertaining as Momma Dee is, at one point does someone pull her to the side and say, “Momma Dee, you are not Mufasa, nor are you Maleficent. Take your meds!?”

I wouldn’t be surprised if Mingnon knocks some sense into Momma Dee the next time she catches her in the Walmart parking lot solo. Their confrontation was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever witnessed. The scene was like The Legion of Doom vs. The Horseman. When Mingnon walked down the stairs ready for her, you could tell that while Momma Dee may be an old pimp, Mingnon used to beat the black off of men in the pool halls of Georgia once upon a time.

Lesson here: Don’t mess with Mingnon. Oh yeah, Scrappy, check your mama and start smashing her meds into her grits. I can’t believe Scrappy let Erica go. She is gorgeous and can turn off her hood during work hours. A phenomenal woman, she is. How is she not on the cover of a Dark and Lovely box yet? If Beyoncé can hawk hair care products with a head full of weave, so can Erica. 

At this point, all I can do is hope the universe blesses Joseline Hernandez with a clue sooner rather than later. In one episode, we saw Stevie J try to use an invitation to go shopping on his dime as a justification as to why his ex, Mimi, should invite him into the space between her legs. And then he reluctantly told Joseline that he’s ready for “more.” Puerto Rican Princess, you are an ATM with body to him. Yeah, he may like you a lil’ bit, but he’s too much of a sociable sociopath to give you anything more than a rat face and broken promises. 

In the first couple of episodes of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, Traci Steele seemed like nothing more than a rehash of Mimi Faust. And really, who needs another angry person blowing hot air about a situation we all know they could’ve easily removed themselves from? However, now that she’s found herself a new guy and is finally loosening her grip on her ex, Drew, give her a slow clap for growth, everyone.

Also, shout out to her for pulling Rasheeda to the side to say, “Your man is out here saying you told him to poke around as you see fit.” Seriously, waving your infidelity in front of Traci is like rubbing a raw steak against a starving Rottweiler and feigning shock when it bites your damn hand off.