Puerto Rico Didn’t Make The Puerto Rican Princess That Happy
Before Joseline played herself like a game of pitty pat towards the end of the episode, she sat Stevie J down and pulled out a wad of cash, her way of signifying her commitment towards pursuing her pop star dreams by way of the independent route. She also provided plane tickets to Puerto Rico, to which Stevie said in response, “I got my connects in Puerto Rico. I'm assuming Steebie means prostitutes with iPhone 4s."
Once the two arrived in Joseline’s native land, she tried her luck with lightning by claiming "Puerto Ricans have first choice in heaven." I’ve never read the Don Julio version of the Bible, but I guess I’ll have to take her word for it. I imagine there’s been an addendum added to exclude Jennifer Lopez for her concerts for dictators, but I digress.
Once Joseline got settled, the sadder she became. Poor, poor, Puerto Rican Princess: Going back home is a trigger for all of the trauma she suffered as a child. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I can't wait until Iyanla fixes Joseline's life. Wait, I already take it back. Invite Joseline over and send us some oreo cheesecake. I'll help her breakthrough with my Mary J. Blige collection. Oh, and if you’re curious about the music video, Joseline was on the beach moving her body like a snake on Adderall.