Damn, everybody's in the Illuminati. When am I going to get called up to the occult majors? As we said before, if you become a successful rapper, you will be accused of being in the Illuminati. It's a status symbol, like getting that AmEx black card. Jay-Z, being just about the most successful person in the world, gets associated with the Illuminati as regularly as you get associated with your dumb friends from high school. When this picture was discovered in the New York Public Library archives, the Internet decided that the old case that Hova was part of the New World Order had to be reopened. We're not exactly sure how Jay-z turning out to be Jay-Everlasting strengthens his connection to any secret societies, but we'd love to hear more about why you think so (hit me up on Twitter @muddycreekU).

Yes, this is a stupid theory, but it is better than the others we heard regarding the picture, including a thesis that the picture proves that Jay-Z went back in time to research the Great Gatsby (yes, this theory was proposed on Reddit).