The Best Places in New York to Have Sex With Tourists

For when you've got that tourist attraction.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Summer is here, and that means that the tourists are flocking back to the Big Apple. That's right, a whole new crowd of women that you haven't had a chance to offend or put off yet. Now that you've alienated your co-workers and your friends are tired of setting you up, only to have the ladies report back that you're a boorish jerk, tourists are your last best hope. The best thing about tourists is that they are only in the Big Apple for about two weeks; even the worst pretender among us can hide their true selves for that long. Meeting tourists is the easy part. Simply make your way to such historic tourist attractions as the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, or the M&M store, and mack away.

Then comes the real challenge. After you take her to dinner at a Thai place [Author's Note: Always take her to dinner at a Thai restaurant if possible. They are cheap, but the decor looks expensive. And you'll get bonus points for seeming cultured.] and you have a couple discount drinks at a local watering hole where you know the bartender, things might get a little steamy. If you're anything like the Complex staff, you probably live in some godforsaken neighborhood in an outer borough, and you've learned the hard way that nothing spoils the mood like an hour long subway ride and a brisk walk past half a dozen crack dens. You don't want to take her back to your place, but you certainly want to get it on. What's a man to do? We're here to help. When you've got a Hungarian hot and bothered or you've successfully seduced a Swede it's time to take her to one of the 10 Best Places in New York to Have Sex With Tourists.

RELATED: 25 NYC Tourist Activities That Are Actually Cool
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10. Museum of Natural History

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9. Macy's Herald Square Changing Rooms

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8. Williamsburg

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7. A Dive Bar

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6. Central Park

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5. The Back of A Cab

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4. A Sex and the City Tour Bus

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3. Fifth Avenue Apple Store

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2. The Bathroom at a Times Square Chain Restaurant

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1. Their Hotel Room

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