How to Win the Internet in 10 Easy Steps

It all begins with making a name for yourself. Have an original voice is the most important thing on the Internet. It's become a truism on social media that 85 percent of the people are basically saying the same thing. As Benjamin Hart recently pointed out on The Awl: "a dulling sameness of phraseology, a glib shorthand that has bloomed everywhere, but especially online, and especially on social media. If you hang around Twitter long enough, you’ll become alternately inured to and irritated by the grinding repetitiveness of a few stock phrases, which come at you like a Greek chorus of unoriginality." So, yeah, if you're going to stand out from the pack, don't be afraid to be you and create the blog you've always wanted.

On the Internet, there is no greater feeling than being the first person to post an exclusive photo or publish a previously unwritten story. You'll quickly make a name for yourself this way, too--especially if you're the guy people can depend on to post news they won't find anywhere else. After all, Internet posers love to be in the know (mostly so they can rub it in their friends' faces that they knew so and so did so and so first). Trust us, clicking "publish" never felt so good.

Claim it now: I AM THE CEO OF SEO. It's one thing to have a cool blog with a cult following, but if you plan on bringing your awesomeness to the masses, you'll need to perfect your SEO. A few easy tips to bump your blog to the top of the Internet search pile: cross link pages, update content frequently, use key words in the URL, etc etc. Now go forth and be great.

The best Twitter accounts, whether famous or not-so-famous, tweet like nobody's watching. Speak your mind, even if it is the dissenting opinion. You might catch a few haters along the way, but people will definitely begin to notice who you are. Basically take Rihanna's advice: Give no fucks.

At all times you must know your shit. Whether posting about sad rap (yes, it's a thing) or the new Superman film, make sure you're informed enough to back up your post. Trolls thrive off poorly constructed arguments, spelling errors and outlandish claims, so be ready to support your theory when the time calls.

Memes are all the rage these days so get in while there's still time. And a word to the wise: the more viral the person or animal (Grumpy Cat what up!), the better. Or, you can always go a different route and merge, say, your passion of art with your love of Beyonce. Either way, let the meme-fication begin.

Vine's ever-increasing popularity is something you need to get in on now. The video app is the preferred method of sharing content on Twitter. Instagram is so 2012. Use Vine as a way to humanize your growing Internet status. And the more creative, the better. For a crash course in Vine-ing, check out The 50 Best Videos on Vine So Far.

The is a sure fire way to gain a following and win at the Internet. When all else fails, post cute cat photos. Lots and losts of cat photos. Dogs are cool, too, but the Internet loves them some doe-eyed felines. Because, you know, only a truly evil person hates a cute cat. Bring on the feel good!

Actually, now that we think about it, the only surefire way to win the Internet is to not engage in all the online fuckery. Smell the leaves. Save your tweets for real conversations. Read a book instead of your Facebook Timeline. Go hiking. Remember: REAL LIFE NEEDS NO FILTER (#subliminal). Go outside and get your IRL on.