You've led a humdrum life up until now. You went virtually unnoticed in school—average grades, no girlfriend and a short-lived JV basketball stint (you mostly sat on the bench, but whatever). In college, because your parents did not want you sleeping on their couch after graduation, you majored in business, even though you secretly wanted to be an artist. Now, post-undergrad, you're working in a 9-to-5 you hate and your only escape is the Internet. Well, you're in luck, because things are about to change. Our 10-step guide on How to Win the Internet is sure to turn you into an #influencer in no time. And remember: Winning is now your only concern.
Create a Tumblr (preferably one that covers an obscure subculture).
Find untainted content on which you can post first.
Be the CEO of SEO.
Tweet with no regard for others.
Be informed enough to slay the trolls who make superficially intelligent comments.
Also: be brave enough to be (a) terrible (person).
At some point it's going to happen. Even the most beloved Internet personalities have had to engage haters on their level. Eventually you will have to tweet or blog something really nasty (translation: honest). But rest easy knowing that funnyman and Twitter star Rob Delaney secretly trolled his way up* the social media ladder. Like the old saying goes, if you can't beat em, join em. So yes: Troll when necessary.