Age: 31
Cannibal appeal: Like some sort of meager Cornish game hen
Possible last day activity: Staring contests
How good are their jokes?: If you consider crippling awkwardness hilarious, then they're a riot
Potential attributes for fighting off danger: Tossability
Likelihood that they'll have drugs: The better question is, can he roll precise joints?
Verdict: Really, it depends on whether you're comfortable with Canadians.