Cannibal appeal: Slim
Possible last day activity: Finger painting
How good are their jokes?: Depends on whether you get Pineapple Express Franco or Nights in Rodanthe Franco
Potential attributes for fighting off danger: He was in Tristan & Isolde, so that's gotta count for something
Likelihood that they'll have drugs: Did you even see 2011 Oscars?
Verdict: You're in for tons of fun. Also, Cormac McCarthy anecdotes?