Tourists take a lot of criticism, and we feel kind of bad being the next in line to pile on. It feels good to live in a city that people want to visit, and you can't deny that the Big Apple has a thriving industry of selling crap to gullible people that keeps most of our artistic class in day jobs. But, just try and walk through midtown at any time of day or night during the summer. Some cities have gridlock automobile traffic; we get gridlock foot traffic. Every six steps you have to walk around an aging couple studying a map or a family snapping photos of some mundane building that they have mistaken for some other mundane building. With the rise of Sex and the City tours and websites geared towards telling tourists where to go if they want to avoid being around other tourists, the visitors have spread out of their mandated neon Times Square quarantine zone and into our safe havens. They must be stopped.

Okay, maybe we're being a bit dramatic about this. But, before we finish our rant, let us offer one piece of advice to tourists. We will help you if you are lost, just please, please don't stop at the subway entrance to consult your map or your phone. Our summer is bad enough already without having to wait in line to wait to buy a ticket to wait on a platform so that we can wait on a subway, wait to transfer to another line, only to wait for our AC to kick in once we get back home.