Alas, the summer's over. She's going back to her communications program at the University of Florida while you waste away at the local Dunkin Donuts x Baskin Robbins hybrid. This can't be life. She's calling things off, but keep your head. If you can end things on good terms and not mope around like a love scorned Robert Pattinson, there might be conjugal dorm visit in your future.

Don't call her. It might take a few weeks (or until a picture with you and another girl shows up on the Internet), but eventually she'll have too many cups of Jungle Juice at a blacklight graffiti party and blow you up. Don't answer. Picking up drunk dials at 3 a.m. is a cardinal sin when you're trying to trick a girl into thinking you have a life. Wait until she texts to apologize the next day, blow it off like it's no big deal, and—one week later—hit her up with something seemingly innocuous but totally calculated like, "I scored some coke." You're welcome.

[Editor's note: Complex does not endorse purchasing cocaine to secure a romantic face-to-face. This is solely the opinion of a freelance writer who's currently on a four month dry spell. From women, not coke.]