In a desperate attempt to cling to her last few milliseconds of fame, Farrah Abraham apparently reached out to Charlie Sheen via text message and suggested they meet-upnot too long after he responded, the flirty messages "somehow" (read: Farrah totally didn't leak them herself) made their way onto TMZ. Sheen was none too happy that his text conversations with reality television star/"accidental" adult film star were suddenly plastered all over the Internet, and he wasted no time telling us alland Farrahhow much. TMZ had his epic response, verbatim:

hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua;

I truly do not recall giving you permission to globally reveal any communication between us. congrats on surviving your lobotomy and an even bigger congratz on the recent attempt at porn.

your daughter must be so proud.

please send my number to middle earth and if allowed, eagerly follow it into said abyss and slam the door behind you. the world will collectively sigh as the pungent memory of you vanishes into the pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life.

oh and I’m sure they’ll wave the cover charge when they see your tranny-boobs and five o’clock shadow.

bye!
cs.

We're just gonna let that response just speak for itself. Burn.

RELATED: The 50 Funniest Comedians on Twitter

[via NY Post]