Thirst Level: 9.65

Although Joe's fate is left unanswered by the end of Mafia II, there's one fact we know for sure: He was a ladies man. Unlike some of the other characters a part of this list, Joe could be both discrete and forward about his thirst.

For example: "If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put 'U' and 'I' together," and "Hey, do you know the difference between sex and conversation? No? You wanna go back to my place and talk?" Joe had an appetite for loose women and considering he was a fearless crime boss, he got what we wanted. Thanks for the pickup lines, Joe.