We should be so lucky as to only worry about conventional, already painful, real-world STDs.

A week long bender in Panama City may leave you with the same burning and swollen feeling as a botched prostate exam, but that's just your new sidekick for life: herpes. Yes, in the real world we only have to worry about occasionally falling face first into the pool of bodily fluids left behind by the Girls Gone Wild tour bus.

If video games were somehow capable of passing on STDs, we'd look back at the days of an inflamed urethra as the salad days of a bygone youth. Consider yourself lucky you've never had to repress the urge to get it on with a lady centaur. 

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