The Pop Culture Biography of Today's 25-Year-Old, in GIFs

Oh, the things you learn from watching TV.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Playing catch with your dad, riding a bike with friends around the neighborhood, getting your first "Student of the Month" bumper sticker at school—those memories are cute, but let's face it, they're not the ones that had the most impact. You can still place where you were when Bill Clinton said the words "sexual relations," recall the panic when Y2K happened, and dig up the feeling of forfeiting your soul by joining The Facebook.

Those moments in pop culture history have shaped your quarter century of life more than almost anything. Now take a trip down memory lane with The Pop Culture Biography of Today's 25-Year-Old, in GIFs.

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It's 1988 and you're getting born.

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You don't become a person until 1993, when pogs spread. You experience peer and market pressure to be cool by owning lots and lots of cardboard discs.

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You hear whispers about Lorena Bobbitt being found not guilty. Your dad isn't sleeping well.

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Your parents can't teach you about persistence, but blowing on NES cartridges sure does the trick.

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The O.J. Simpson trial teaches you how gloves work.

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The East Coast/West Coast rivalry divides the playground. You and your best friend no longer speak, because life is real.

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Tamagotchis force you to realize that you're not capable of taking care of that puppy you begged your parents for.

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You learn the ropes of supply and demand by trading Pokémon cards on the playground.

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The line "Put it on, put it on" in Spice Girls' "2 Become 1" does more to make you pro-contraception than sex ed.

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You'll forever appreciate your grandparents after watching the video for Bone Thugs N Harmony's "Tha Crossroads" on The Box.

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Cinemax After Dark obscures the fine details of sex. With softcore, you can't tell what's going on below the belt.

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Titanic causes some serious problems, forever linking boobs with Celine Dion's over-the-top belting. There's therapy in your future, bruh.

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Winamp shows you the value in being a hopeless romantic by functioning as the blueprint for making that perfect mix CD for your middle school crush.

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You finally understand your weird stamp-collecting uncle because you desperately need the Princess Diana Beanie Baby.

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Your dad takes you to see Saving Private Ryan and you weep openly in the theater because it's too much. The man behind E.T. has betrayed you.

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Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone has you revaluating this whole reading thing.

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You have Next's "Too Close" to thank for an important warning about erections and dancing. You're now very nervous for the next school dance.

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Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton offer a valuable lesson in oral sex.

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Napster teaches you early on that it's always better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

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American Pie has you shook that you might prematurely ejaculate.

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D'Angelo's "Untitled" video makes you realize that not all naked men look like the wrinkled guys at the gym, the ones who shave naked.

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Cutting your entire family off from receiving or making phone calls, just so you can dial up to AOL and chat with buddies from a list really puts your friends into perspective.

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Abercrombie sells clothes to you with naked people; later, American Apparel will use similar methods. Biters.

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The N brings Degrassi: The Next Generation to America, and you get a funny feeling that you might need more of this Jimmy Brooks guy in your life.

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Seth Cohen gives you false confidence about getting the pretty popular girl to notice you.

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You ditch your diary because Xanga is the next-level way to write about your lousy grades and hopeless crushes. Turn on the angst.

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The Notebook makes your new girlfriend realize that romance is not dead. You're thinking about growing a beard but are unsure of how to proceed.

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In the wake of Mark Zuckerberg, you no longer want to get into college to earn a degree. You want in so that you can join The Facebook.

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Twitter happens and outside of the "Shit My Dad Says" guy, nobody thinks this is gonna last, especially you. Oops.

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Steve Jobs announces the first generation iPhone, and, to get one, you commit your first crime during a stampede near an Apple store.

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Britney Spears suffers a breakdown in January, and all of a sudden you're really concerned about mental health. Just like you will be in 2013, when you see Silver Linings Playbook.

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Obama's slogan "Yes We Can" improves everyone's self-esteem post-college. If the POTUS believes we can get jobs, who needs parents?

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The premiere of Jersey Shore opens your eyes to how many different people there are in this world.

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Tiger Woods attempts to teach you a lesson in resilience, but you see that it's just a cautionary tale about sexting. You still make dick pic mistakes.

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You've never thought about kids much, and now that Beyoncé is carrying a superbaby, what's the point in having one of your own? It won't measure up.

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Watching Charlie Sheen meltdown reminds you of your other weird uncle, the one who talks to waitresses too much. But you're wiser in 2011, and have no sympathy for celebs. Still, maybe you'll find room in your Twitter feed for a supportive hashtag or two.

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Mommy porn becomes something that has nothing to do with MILFs and everything to do with your aunt talking to you about handcuffs. But, you know, good for her. YOLO?

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You think you knew what sexism is—you've been on a middle school bus, after all—but these Republicans start showing you all kinds of moves you've never seen before. You run in the opposite direction.

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For the first time, you see the world clearly—it's all about what you should or shouldn't Instagram.

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The Super Bowl elects Beyoncé as leader of the free world and you happily submit to her reign.

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And now you're sitting around, bored, waiting for Breaking Bad to start again.

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