The Dumbest Things Ryan Lochte Said on Last Night's "What Would Ryan Lochte Do?"

Just when you thought he couldn't get more ridiculous.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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On last night’s episode of What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, everyone’s favorite Olympic swimmer got plastered. But in true Lochte fashion, he took getting plastered to a whole other level by having a mold made of his torso. Ever the giver, he endured the gooey and sticky process to give the statue as a display piece to his favorite hometown bar in Gainesville.

And yet, with the sound bites he bestows upon us each week, Lochte doesn’t need a statue to be immortalized. In case you missed his shenanigans yesterday, these are The Dumbest Things Ryan Lochte Said on Last Night’s “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” 

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On making a mold of his torso: “Has anyone ever died from this? Is this gonna rip my nipples off?”

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On wanting to launch a baby clothing line: “Well, you know what? I always see babies and the clothes that they wear and it’s horrendous. It’s gonna be something that they see, they’re like, ‘Damn. My son would look cute in that! He’s gonna be a straight-up pimp!'”

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On his abs: “I hate to say it, but the Lochte abs are famous. I go to talk shows, I’m like, in a full suit and they want me to lift up my shirt, so I’m just like, ‘Alright, here we go. Ta-da!'"

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On his posse: “The best thing about the Lochterage is someone always has a great idea, something that we’ve never done that’s different. You don’t know what’s gonna happen. Hardcore. Balls to the wall. Jeah!”

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On his friend Chantae McMillan, who competed in the heptathlon: “She is a—shit, I forgot the name of it. What’s that thing called where you do six events at the Olympics? Pentathlon? Or decathlon? Or octagon? Shit.”

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On drunk-tweeting: “Twitter is just another way you can communicate to your fans, and I’m not like everyone else. I’m not gonna write those boring tweets. I’m gonna do something different, of course.”

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On what Lochte memorabilia he would give his favorite bar: “I got a really hot pink Speedo. I think chicks will dig it.”

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To the bar patrons enjoying the new sculpture of his chest: “Rub the nipples. It’s OK. You can do it. They’re hard as rocks.”

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