First appearance: “Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming” (Season 7, Episode 9)
Voiced by: R. Lee Ermey 

When the writers of The Simpsons needed to fill the role of Colonel Leslie “Hap” Hapablap for “Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming,” the producers did the natural thing and secured R. Lee Ermey. Modeled after Ermey’s character in Full Metal Jacket, Hapablat is a fast-talking, crass military man who spews out priceless quotes faster than viewers can process them. Ermey brings the same electric qualities he featured in Kubrick’s masterpiece, expect this time his dialogue is much more Simpsonian.

Rants like “Sweet Enola Gay, son! I'm going to come in there and corpse you up—corpse you up and mail you to mama!” and “We've searched this airbase from top to bottom, and all we've found is porno, porno, porno," make him stand out from the countless other guest stars that have appeared on the show.