Watching the Throne: Even the Almighty Lannister Family Can Get Served (A "Game of Thrones" Recap)

Image via Complex Original

Robb's road to making amends with Walder Frey—the man whose daughter Robb was supposed to marry before he betrayed that plan and tied the knot with Talisa—begins here. Remember, Robb needs Frey's help in order to stand a chance against Tywin Lannister. These are negotiations that Robb can't afford to screw up.

Meeting with two hillbilly representatives sent by Walder, Robb—accompanied by mother Catelyn and uncle Edmure—is ready to comply in whatever ways necessary. He has no choice but to give Walder what he wants: a formal apology, control of the Harrenhal region, and Edmure to marry one of Walder's daughters. Edmure, maintaining his unbecomingly smug attitude, asks if he can see her first (if only Facebook existed in Westeros). Throwing a passively aggressive hissy-fit, Edmure reminds Robb that "No man can compel another man to marry," prompting Robb to guilt-trip his uncle: "I've won every battle, but I'm losing the war. If we don't do this, and do it now, we're lost."

It's not exactly a giant leap forward for Robb, but at least he's on the right track to winning back Walder Frey's trust. Crown him…with cautious optimism.

As for Walder Frey, get used to that face you see above. Aware that Robb is a desperate man, Mr. Frey has the power. For the late Ned Stark's son, this is very bad—if Walder asked Robb to sleep with one of his daughters in front of Talisa, Robb would have to do it. How's that for an upper hand?

Season three has been one of endless shame and embarrassment for the once-arrogant Jaime Lannister. He's lost his right hand, he's been beaten up numerous times, and now he can't even cut the meat on his own dinner plate. Seated with fellow captive Brienne and Robb Stark's marginally empathetic underling Roose Bolton, Jaime keeps poking at his food with his fork, like he's a curious little rascal jabbing a stick into a dead animal, except that there's no morbid pleasure to be had here. The man's hungry, and also a sad sack.

Brienne, who's warming up to Jaime without showing it explicitly, stabs the meat with her own knife, allowing Jaime to finally cut a sliver off and consume it. Whether Jaime and Brienne like it or not, they've become the best tag-team on Game of Thrones—having started off a wisecracking prisoner and a humorless chaperone, respectively, they've been downgraded into helpless punching bags who must rely on each other for survival. Do they make any Hallmark cards for such reluctant companionship?

Because, unfortunately, Jaime will soon need to send one to Brienne, via whatever kind of carrier pigeon exists within the Seven Kingdoms. Lord Bolton informs Jaime that he's sending him back home to King's Landing, as long as Jaime tells daddy Tywin that his missing hand isn't Bolton's fault. Save for the reminder of that severed hand, this should be great news for Jaime…if not for the fact that Bolton won't allow Brienne to join him. She's to remain right where she is, still a law-breaker who's due for some future punishment on charges of abetting treason.

Ever so subtly, Jaime lets it be known that he's none too happy about leaving Brienne behind. After all, who's going to help him eat dinner now? After trying to save Brienne, Jaime gets knocked down a peg by Bolton, who says, "I would hope you'd learned your lesson about overplaying your…position." Take that, lefty.

Still, he's going back to King's Landing, where, assuming nothing goes wrong along the way (ha ha, like that would ever happen), he will reunite with his pops, get to insult brother Tyrion, and get to shag sister Cersei once again. For that, let's give Jaime his first crown of the season.

Speaking of Lord Tywin, someone finally has the gall to put the almighty one in his place. That someone is the no-bullshitting Lady Olenna, the Tyrell family's elder ball-buster and all-around geriatric badass. She and Tywin have a not-so-friendly chat about Tywin's plans to have Tyrion marry Sansa Stark and Cersei wed Loras Tyrell; Olenna, of course, isn't having any of it. She first acknowledges that the secretly gay Loras is "a sword swallower through and through," but that's inconsequential when it comes to her real ace in the hole: She knows all about Cersei and Jaime's incestuous trysts. Furthermore, Cersei, in Olenna's eyes, is too, as they say, long in the tooth to give Loras an heir.

Tywin, never one to back down, tells Olenna that if she and Loras don't stick to his plan, he'll put Loras into the King's Guard, meaning that he'll never be able to marry or have children, thus signaling the end of the Tyrell family's name. And how does Olenna feel about that threat? "It's a rare enough thing," she says, grabbing the quill pen out of Tywin's hand, "a man who lives up to his reputation." Which is code for, "You're as big of an asshole as everyone says."

And with that, Olenna snaps the pen in half. There will be no consenting today. You, Lord Tywin, have been served.

Whenever contentious siblings Cersei and Tyrion Lannister share quarters for a chat, the mood is usually condescending and unpleasant. In "The Climb," however, their one scene together is, for a change, mutually pathetic.

Realizing that Tywin's orders to have them marry against their wills is pretty much set in stone, Cersei and Tyrion trade woe-is-me lines with each other, "We're being shipped off to Hell together," says Cersei, to which Tyrion, unable to let an easy diss pass by unsaid, replies, "On a boat you built." He then calls her out for trying to have him killed during the Blackwater battle, something she doesn't flat-out admit to, but the unconvincing poker face with which she responds to his questioning says it all. The blame, he knows, goes mostly to Joffrey, since the young king hates Tyrion because he's "the only one who tells him what he is." As in, Joffrey's an idiot who opts to have Tyrion killed in public, in front of his other men, rather than, say, just poisoning him and ending the imp's life in a way that wouldn't make his actions so bloody obvious.

Not that berating Joffrey does much for Tyrion's situation. He still has to tell poor Sansa about what's going to happen, and he's forced to do so in front of her maiden, aka Tyrion's private lover, Shae. "This is going to be awkward," Tyrion declares before giving them the bad news. Yes, it's hard in King's Landing for a dwarf these days.

Joffrey is mostly M.I.A. throughout "The Climb," until the episode's closing minutes. Thankfully, he doesn't speak, sparing viewers his sniveling voice. Not so positive, though, is the manner in which we see Joffrey.

In his bedroom, armed with a bow-and-arrow, he's just finished firing arrows into head whore Roz, who's been tied to his bed's frame like a sacrificial, naked lamb. Joffrey's target practice is Roz's gruesome, barbaric demise. Six arrows have pierced her body, including one to the heart. Blood drips down her face, sliding over the mouth that sealed her fate. She's become Joffrey's latest murder victim because she ratted on Littlefinger, telling Varys that Littlefinger plans to take Sansa away from King's Landing.

Killing Roz doesn't do much for Joffrey's power status, but it does confirm something that could ultimately be more intimidating than his dominant authority: King Joffrey is a budding, sadistic sociopath. Margaery, Sansa, and, hell, even Mama Cersei better watch what they say and do.