The Dumbest Things Ryan Lochte Said on Last Night's "What Would Ryan Lochte Do?"

Someone drank too much pool water.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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On this week’s episode of What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, the Olympic swimmer took a break from admiring himself to romance his on/off fling, an English girl named Jaimee. Viewers also saw Lochte partake in other riveting activities such as swimming with dolphins and shaving his body hair.

But most importantly, Lochte’s love affair with ridiculous sound bites was in full swing last night. In case you missed any of the Lochte lovin', these are the dumbest things Ryan Lochte said on last night’s What Would Ryan Lochte Do? 

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On cooking: “I’m not the guy that cooks. I’m the kind of guy that has a cook. We’re in the 20th century, like, things change!”

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On shaving: “When I’m shaving with a gold-plated razor, I’m looking myself in the mirror and I’m shaving, I’m just like, ‘Man! No one else could shave with a gold-plated razor. I am, and I’m just like, ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah!’”

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On sex before swim meets: “See this smile? Who has sex and doesn’t have a smile afterwards? I don’t know who!”

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On his Jeremy Scott for Adidas bear shoes: “What would Ryan Lochte do? Wear these shoes. I saw you. You were checking my shoes out, aren’t you? If I lose, guess what? It doesn’t matter because I’m still looking fresh in these kicks.”

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On dolphins: “Ryan Lochte went swimming with the dolphins today. Jeah!”

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On wetsuits: “Are you supposed to have a wedgie in these things?”

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On signing autographs: “The craziest thing I’ve been asked to sign was…someone’s French fry. That shit’s funny!”

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On seeing Jaimee for the first time: “As soon as the door opened, it was like, you know, those slow motion movies, where like, someone opens up the door and like, the wind’s blowing in the hair. It was like, doves flying behind them…something like that!”

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On his idea of a romantic evening: “I think a romantic evening is two people connecting more than anything. When it comes down to it, if two people aren’t connecting, it’s gonna be a shitshow.”

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