5 Lessons Learned on Last Night's "Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta" (Season 2, Episode 5)

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After letting her jealously and residual anger get the best of her, Traci met with Drew post-fight to talk about whether or not she’s still silly enough to provide the man who planted his seed in her the seed money he needs to open up a sneaker shop.

Who knows  what Traci’s accountant thinks about this, but it seems true that if you want to punch your “business” partner in face for refusing to acknowledge him cheating on you while you were pregnant seven years ago, don’t give him money to start a business. In fact, the only papers you ought to give him include: report cards and child support papers.

Like, you’re complaining about a man you haven’t been with in seven years continuing to mess with “groupie bitches.” Take the hint and holler at Match.com or Black People Meet.

Everyone's favorite example of hood love, Erica and Lil’ Scrappy, seemingly ended their engagement after Erica discovered that Scrappy, who has cheated in the past, was continuing to have conversations with various women via text message—and he promised to stop doing that.

Scrappy’s response in the confessional? “’Cause you not looking in my phone to see nothing. You looking in my phone with the mind, ‘Imma see something.’ So if you going in with that mind you gonna see what? Something.” 

Is that math or something? Math is hard. Someone help explain Scrappy’s deflecting-ass equation. 

After 15 years of dealing with a philandering music producer, Mimi Faust introduces her new beau last night: another music producer. If I were Iyanla Vanzant, I’d throw on a dashiki and say something to the effect of, “You are dating the same man. Sha-ma-la-ma-bang-a-lang, stop being a ding dong.” 

On just about every episode of the show this season, K. Michelle has talked about her vagina lying in a coma and being frostier than an ice cap in the Arctic. Somehow, amidst all this talk of her crotch needing a winter coat, she failed to mention that she's the Wicked Witch of reality television. As K. Michelle explained to Mimi and Ariane, “I like putting salt around the bed. You pour salt around your bed to keep the sex demons way.”

And after, “you clean yourself with ammonia before the sun comes up. That makes him stay with you.” Someone needs a new book of spells for Christmas, ‘cause if she’s screaming about an ice cold vagina, obviously the sex demons she spoke of are winning the sorcery battle. 

For all this talk about Karlie Redd being an old messy bag of tricks, last night’s episode proved that it’s not always Karlie who's responsible for the rifts that take place on the show. Joseline was the one who took something Karlie said, chopped and screwed it and went on to yap in Steebie’s ear—making the issue way more than it needed to be. That’s akin to what she did last year, when Scrappy ended up putting those paws on Steebie after she botched his attempt at an apology to Erica by chirping out the side of her neck.

Just as Karlie noted, if Joseline had an issue with what Karlie asked her, why not simply say something when it’s all happening? And Benzino, you’re not a good fibber and I believe Karlie about you trying to show her some sexual voyeurism starring the Puerto Rican Princess. 

Side note: Joseline, I love you, but when you hear that much green eye shadow, you look like a walking coloring book.