At any given moment, there are roughly eight million taxicabs roaming the streets of New York and roughly eight million and one commuters trying to hail them. In this citywide game of musical chairs, you have to do all that you can to avoid being odd man out. You have to be fast, stealthy, and aggressive. 

There’s only one way to make it on Broadway—you’ve got to be noticed. And there’s only one way to get to Broadway, or Sixth, or Seventh Avenue—you’ve got to be noticed. What else are you going to do, take the bus like some kind of troll? Ride a bike like that dick Lance Armstrong?

The following is a three part guide to stalking your prey, taking it down, and making it take you where you want to go, even if that includes Bushwick. 

May the odds be ever in your favor.

[Ed. Note: This guide is intended for hailing yellow taxis only. You can keep on driving, fancy black cab, we don’t want you. No, keep going. Well, how much to the Meatpacking District? Seriously? How ‘bout ten—we’ll tip good. Whatever, your loss.]