There's a new sheriff in town and at 22-years-old, he patrols the fifth floor of Morris Hall in sweatpants and a pair of worn Crocs and still expects to be taken seriously. When it comes to spotting red cups, this guy has a laser-like focus that's unrivaled. If you crank that Taylor Swift a decibel too loud, he's kicking down your door and serving your ass with a "quiet hours violation." When he's not on Brazzers.com in his deluxe dorm suite, he's following the faint stench of a bong hit through the halls like bloodhound in John Wayne Gacy's crawl space. If there's one thing this asthmatic virgin knows how to do, it's regulate.