There's something to be said for getting your sea legs in high school. If one goes into college with 18 year's worth of 8 p.m. curfews and nightly breathalyzers from their overbearing parents, all it takes is a few unsupervised nights in the dorm to turn the captain of the math team into a teenage version of David Lee Roth. This guy beer bongs and promptly projectile vomits his parents tuition money away. He texts every girl in his phone "What r u up 2?" at 1 a.m. nightly and brags about "getting totally wasted last night" like it's a unique accomplishment. After failing his first set of finals, he'll have to enroll in a community college near home and trade in his drunken, late night Chipotle runs for Sunday afternoon grocery trips to Costco with mom. We'd feel bad if it weren't so funny.
1. The Born-Again Rager (a.k.a. The Lightweight)