Director: Lee Unkrich
Stars: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Ned Beatty, Michael Keaton, Don Rickles, Wallace Shawn, John Ratzenberger
Who doesn't wish that they could be a kid again? Back in the days of Juicy Juice and Saturday morning cartoons, there wasn't a care in the world—no bills to pay, people to please, or jobs to devote one's entire life to. Only fun, toys, and coloring books. So once the realization sinks in that, sadly, it's no longer "cool" to stage mini-wars with G.I. Joe action figures inside a bathtub, life becomes really fucking hard. That is, essentially, Toy Story 3. The original tagline was: Everything you love will die someday. The end.
In the huge franchise's third entry, young Andy, the owner of Woody (Tom Hanks) and Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen), is a college-bound 17-year-old; he's smart enough to understand that littering your dorm room with toys isn't exactly an aphrodisiac, prompting Andy to leave all but Woody behind.
Watching Buzz and his inanimate cohorts grieve over their sudden lack-of-presence in Andy's life brings to mind the viewer's own toys of old. Imagine what they must be feeling whenever they see you have sexy times from the confines of your bedroom's packed closet. The only ones that'd understand are Ken and Barbie, no doubt. —MB