If you turn up the court volume on an NBA video game, you'll hear a point guard barking out commands. What you don't hear is Kevin Garnett telling Carmelo Anthony that his wife, Lala Vasquez, tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios. Or Kevin Garnett calling Charlie Villanueva, who has the skin disease alopecia universalis, which results in hair loss, a "cancer patient." Or Kevin Garnett wishing Tim Duncan, who lost his mom to breast cancer when he was 14, a "Happy Mothers' Day, motherfucker."

Need that added incentive to crush the Boston Celtics in your season? If virtual KG was as big of an asshole as actual KG, motivation would never be a problem. Preventing your players from trying to put him in a choke hold, maybe.