Played By: Robert De Niro

Martin Scorsese's underrated Cape Fear teaches us a lesson that the Republican Party has known for years: The most dangerous thing you can give a country boy is some book-learning.

After Sam Bowden (Nick Nolte) mishandles Max Cady's case, Cady has a few years to stew about it in the federal pen. He spends that time like any good psychopath would, learning the ins and outs of the law so that he can make Bowden's life a living hell and wreck his boat.

You country folk out there know that this meant Cady was serious: A real good ol' boy would do whatever he could not to mess up a good boat.