17 Reasons You Shouldn't Move to New York City

The Big Apple has a few worms.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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We’ve all heard the songs. New York, New York, it’s a hell of a town. This is the city of all cities, the center of the world. This is where dreams are made. 

Or come to die. New York may attract the best and the brightest, but it also attracts the worst and the dimmest. For every Anne Hathaway, we have a Lindsay Lohan. For every Donald Trump, we have a Donald Trump.

Before you make the big move to the big city, there’s a lot you need to consider. Make a pros and cons list. On the pros side, you can include everything you’ve learned from the movies and TV shows that wax rhapsodic about life in the Big Apple. On the cons side, you can list all the cons and ex-cons that live here, ready to take advantage of a naive newcomer. Then add this list of 17 Reasons You Shouldn't Move to New York City, and try someplace a little less intimidating, like Baghdad. 

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17. Interrupting Movie Shoots

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16. Everywhere is "Up and Coming"

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15. If You Weren't In New York, You'd Be Home By Now

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14. Welcome to Death Race

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13. No Right Turns on Red

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12. NYC Has the Best Transit System in the World—on Paper

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11. No Dogs Allowed

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10. There Will Be Rats

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9. NYC is the Confidence Murder Capital of the World

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8. There Is Nothing to Do Here

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7. There Is Too Much to Do Here

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6. Fear Leads to Anger, Anger Leads to Hate, Hate Leads to Tourists

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5. Gluttony is Discouraged

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4. If Your Apartment Doesn't Have a Crazy Roommate Then You're the Crazy Roommate

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3. If You Crap Your Pants, the Terrorists Win

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2. We Smell

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1. New York City Will Ruin Other Cities For You

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