You may never go to the Empire State Building, but you sure as hell will give others directions to it At first you'll be glad to help, and feel that, by shepherding a grateful tourist and his family, you've become a real New Yorker. By the hundredth time you've done this, your help will devolve into pointing and growling "It's that gigantic building right there, just walk towards it, you helpless child!" By the thousandth time—sometime in your second week here—you'll be intentionally giving them the wrong instructions, guiding them onto the express train to the South Bronx, or if you're running late for work and particularly spiteful, New Jersey.

When tourists aren't selfishly hounding you for ten seconds of your time, they're gawking up like baby birds and holding up pedestrian traffic. You'll become an angry Frogger, dodging foreign visitors like they were landmines, and blocking family photos with your impatient scowl. Remember that for one brief period you were that wide-eyed sightseer, and try to put yourself back in their shoes. Just don't be in my way when you do it.