She's been waving her left hand in your face for awhile, makes you watch Say Yes to the Dress, and secretly changed her ring tone on your phone to "Single Ladies" You're already tight that she dared to program a ring tone on your phone—we left that in the 00s—but her hints and clues have became too much for you to bear.

You decided to be a good boyfriend and escort her to a wedding, but all of the white décor and floral arrangements are reminding you of the shit you don't like. After the bride and groom exchange "I do's," don't impulsively hit your girl with an "I don't." You are probably the only person at the ceremony whose heart isn't filled with dreams of "happily ever after." No matter how much you stress to your fellow attendees that your girl is not the one for you, everyone will have her side, and you'll forever be vilified.