The 50 Worst Pieces of Sex Advice on the Internet

Think twice before trying this at home.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Considering that many of us glean our sexual knowledge from a flawed combination of middle school health class and bad pornography, seeking sound advice online about bumping uglies seems to be the lesser of two (or three, or four) evils.

But all advice is not created equal. Both men and women's websites regularly instruct us to do things that would baffle the average bed-mate. No, she doesn't want you to paddle her breasts like a you're dribbling a basketball. No, he would not enjoy you pouring hot coffee over his testicles. 

The struggle to find quality advice is real, and the Internets are teeming with questionable tips for "spicing things up" that may or may not result in humiliation and injury.

Think twice before trying these at home: The 50 Worst Pieces of Sex Advice on the Internet.

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50. Dye Job

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49. Sour Patches

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48. Sex 101

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47. The Reverse Pearl Neclace

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46. Can I Kick It?

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45. Take a Walk on the Wild Side

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44. Sex, Sashimi-Style

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43. Don't Get Handsy

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42. Beer Facial

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41. Say What

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40. Taxicab Confessions

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39. So Fresh and So Clean

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38. Staring Contest

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37. Of Mice and Men

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36. Mission Impossible

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35. Mozart's Masterpiece

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34. Baked Goods

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33. Foot in the Mouth

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32. Sinus Infection

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31. Bedazzled

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30. Freaky Sperm

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29. Keep Refrigerated

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28. The Home Run

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27. Pepper Grinder

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26. The Booze Bath

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25. Do the Head Hump

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24. The Faux Betrayal

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23. No Entrance

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22. Talk Commitement To Me

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21. Keep It Funky

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20. A Razor and a Dream

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19. Stuck On You

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18. Extra Sour Cream

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17. The Rusty Nipple

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16. Fungus Among Us

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15. The Over/Under

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14. Playing Footsie

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13. Grape Expectations

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12. Intercourse with a Vampire

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11. Make-up Sex

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10. Popping Bottles

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9. Look Ma, No Eyes

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8. A Foreign Tounge

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7. Heart to Heart

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6. One Bumpy Ride

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5. Bad Company

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4. Bean Bagging

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3. Moisture Down Under

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2. Tea Time

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1. Hold the Butter

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