Address: 6100 Magazine St.

Fitting the Uptown neighborhood like a glove, Monkey Hill attracts the typical middle-of-the-road douchebag who can't quite figure out if he's more post-college or pre-adult. The result is a crowd that appears to have coordinated the same requisite un-tucked long sleeve button down, bad square-toed leather kicks, and boot-cut jeans look that would have looked good on Jimi Hendrix, and only Jimi Hendrix. Masquerading as an "upscale" lounge, Monkey Hill features groups of douches in their late twenties roaming the bar like predators, playing wingman to their bros whose idea of a good pick-up line is something swiped from a Judd Apatow movie. The only problem is that these Monkeys are too dumb to realize that Apatow was joking.