CBS sent out an email Tuesday night to its Grammy Awards contacts regarding the "Standard and Practice Wardrobe Advisory." It reads like some sort of joke—obviously the network would be concerned with wardrobe "malfunctions" and hefty FCC fines, but let's be real. This is the Grammys. You might recall Jennifer Lopez wearing a dress by Versace in 2000: 

We have a feeling this year's committee wouldn't approve. Their polite email begins, "Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered." Ok, sounds reasonable in real life, but these are pop stars we're talking about. Katy Perry! Lady Gaga! Rihanna! But CBS continues that they don't want any side boob, under boob, butt cracks, or nips. They also warn against showing the genital area "visible 'puffy' bare skin exposure," whatever that is. 

Foreign languages on clothing also must be cleared, and weirdly, anything that "spell[s] out" support for an "organized cause" is banned. "This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory." What? We can't recall any trouble with said organized causes at past ceremonies, so who knows what this is actually aimed at. Breast cancer ribbons? Livestrong bracelets? American flag pins?

Read the full memo over at Deadline and predict how many minutes in until we see the first side boob.

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[via Deadline]