25 Laughable Sex Scenes From Famous Male Novelists

From Seek My Face

Author: John Updike
Participants: Guy Holloway, Hope McCoy
Worst Line(s): "Even his prick was smooth, barely marked by the ridge and homely veins that other men had, like an ivory dildo."

Big veins add some extra menace to an already fairly aggresive looking organ, but a relatively veinless dick? Terrifying.

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