Author: Jeffrey Eugenides
Participants: Callie Stephanides, The Obscure Object
Worst Line(s): "I turned the light off. I pressed against the Object. I took the backs of her thighs in my hands, adjusting her legs around my waist. I reached under her. I brought her up to me. And then my body, like a cathedral, broke out into ringing. The hunchback in the belfry had jumped and was swinging madly on the rope."

RT if you've ever had an orgasm that felt like a Disney cartoon with cartoon gypsies.