25 Laughable Sex Scenes From Famous Male Novelists

From Couples

Author: John Updike
Participants: Georgene, the Sun
Worst Line(s): "Pretending to be offended yet truly offended, Piet felt, by his interest in the Whitman woman, Georgene drew herself from his arms and stretched out against the blanket. Giving the sun his turn: whore. The foil decorated her face with parabolic dabs and nebulae and spurts: solar jism."

An author with such a gift for gross purple-headed sex talk, Updike had to be included twice. Here, a husband feels jealous because his wife has rebuffed him, choosing to sun herself instead. But because this is Updike, the situation is likened to the wife receiving a facial from the hot plasma sphere at the center of the Solar System.

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