If you're in a relationship, and you cheat regularly, Valentine's Day will pressure you to misrepresent yourself as the faithful, caring boyfriend you're not for the sake of love, or something like it. What a shameful responsibility.

How do you just sit there eating, smiling, and pretending like you weren't seeing Patrick behind our back? You think we don't know what's going on? This whole time?! Sorry. That got personal for a second. Our point is, staging a happy relationship can be incredibly stressful. But, fabricating love is what Valentine's Day is all about, right? 

But, you? You're keeping it real. At least you have that.