3. Bangkok Dangerous (2008)
Directors: Oxide Pang Chun and Danny Pang
Country of origin: China
The 1999 Chinese action flick Bangkok Dangerous, written and directed by the Pang brothers, is quick, vibrant, witty, and packed with airtight action sequences that'd feel right at home in a Hollywood summer blockbuster. It's the kind of high-octane movie one watches and thinks, "I could see these guys working well in the stateside studio system." But then, such thinkers would be heinously wrong.
Evidence: Their unnecessary, lobotomized 2008 Bangkok Dangerous U.S. remake, starring Nicolas Cage in his laughably inept prime. Sporting one of his now-trademark goofy hairdos, "The Cage" (as we like to call him) defines the term miscasting in this plodding misfire. He plays a hitman trying to remain inconspicuous in Thailand, which, as the movie makes clear, is utterly ridiculous—between that hair and overly theatrical mannerisms, Cage sticks out like Gheorghe Muresan in a kindergarten classroom.
In the history of foreign filmmakers remaking their best movies for Hollywood (a much better example: Michael Haneke's Funny Games, with Naomi Watts), the Pang brothers' second Bangkok Dangerous is the worst one yet.