Where are the numbers on how many people walked into this movie expecting the deepest porno flick since Deep Throat, only to be treated to some Bond movie—a Bond movie starring Roger Moore no less.

The worst part is, it would take you a decent chunk of the film to realize you weren't watching a porno. A wealthy woman named Octopussy is in charge of an Octopus cult? Octopussy is also in an artifact-smuggling circus troupe? And no one gets butt-naked? That's a refund situation right there.