We are cursed. Ever since a high-school chemistry experiment gone awry, we've been unable to grow facial hair of any kind. The burns have healed nicely, but even the humblest of soul patches are never to be seen again.
We are cursed with facial hair envy for the rest of our days. Solace can be found in this video. A collections of our favorite video game's greatest moustaches. For us, this is the closest we will ever get to having a moustache of our own. Sad, but remarkably true.