3. Courtney Stodden (Couples Therapy, VH1)
Courtney Stodden was annoying long before she began her stint on reality television. She became famous at 16 when she married the dude who played that creepy mutant serial killer Tooms on The X-Files, Doug Hutchison—who, at the time, was 51 years old. They did tons of interviews shortly after the union was made public, most of which consisted of Stodden making really weird facial expressions while staring at Doug, but, other than the occasional picture of Stodden prancing around LA in ridiculous outfits and stripper heels with her pink dog, for the good chunk of 2012 they were fairly quiet.
Until Couple’s Therapy. Both Doug and Courtney joined the cast for the VH1 show's second season citing marital problems attributed to Courtney’s provocative sense of style. Almost immediately after entering the house, Courtney began whining that everyone was judging her for dressing the way she does, and that she’s not going to change because this is her expressing herself and she’s astrong independent woman. No, she fashions herself as the modern-day Erin Brokovich—if Erin Brokovich had been all about wearing just enough fabric to cover her nipples and crotch instead of protesting against the chromium levels in a southern California town’s drinking water.
In a later episode, she and Doug were briefly kicked out of the house for not adhering to a dress code, like wearing shorts long enough to cover her ass cheeks. In her eyes, though, she’s not “a librarian,” and that’s just the system trying to, you know, hold her down.
Couples Therapy continually reaffirmed how creepy the Stodden/Hutchison union really is. In one session, she admits to sometimes accidentally calling him “daddy,” and he jokes that he’s “raising his wife” with a chuckle that signifies he’s joking, but not really at all. There’s also a scene where they’re walking into the house and Hutchison asks her if she needs to use the bathroom, like a parent would to a young child before a road trip.
There aren’t enough synonyms of the word “creepy” to describe these two. It really just attests to the obvious fact that she’s too young to be married, so it makes you feel bad as a viewer who's watching this show and finding it hilarious. Is she still too young to know any better if she’s been able to make a decision as serious as marriage?