The 100 Weirdest Ads on Craigslist

Stranger than fiction.

Not Available Lead
Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

Not Available Lead

Craigslist is a place on the Internet where people lie. Well, that's not all it is, but it's mostly populated by conniving men and women trying to convince each other that their couch is worth $50, or that they're really good in bed. It's human nature, really. Craigslist is an empowering thing--when you have the venue to ask or offer literally anything in the world, you're bound to find some weird stuff. So here's 100 strangley ridiculous ads on Craigslist you can find right now.

RELATED: First We Feast - The Most Scandalous Cases of False Food Advertising

Written by Luke Winkie (@luke_winkie)

Rare Opportunities For Based Candidates

Not Available Interstitial

Kermit Seeks Ms. Piggy

Not Available Interstitial

Looking for Someone to Sit on My Lap

Not Available Interstitial

Confidential Computer Repairman

Not Available Interstitial

Was That Your Limb?

Not Available Interstitial

Sit in a Hot Tub Full of Marinara Sauce with Me

Not Available Interstitial

Human Cat for Adpotion

Not Available Interstitial

I Will Trade You Records if You Hang Out with Me and You are Female

Not Available Interstitial

Level 8 Ogre Mage Seeks Moon Queen or Druid

Not Available Interstitial

Come Try Out My Ass Kicking Machine

Not Available Interstitial

For Sale: Ladies Wedding Set

Not Available Interstitial

Looking for Link from Legend of Zelda

Not Available Interstitial

I Kind of Ruined Your Life, Then Lost Your Number

Not Available Interstitial

Leduc Walmart Hottie

Not Available Interstitial

Shrunken Pet Head Amulet

Not Available Interstitial

Found: Horse Poop

Not Available Interstitial

Seeking Eunuch

Not Available Interstitial

Blowjobs for Obama

Not Available Interstitial

To the Guy Who Lives Below Me...

Not Available Interstitial

Antique Hand Cranked Vibrating Dildo

Not Available Interstitial

Sea Monkeys

Not Available Interstitial

Top Guy Looking for "Small" Guys

Not Available Interstitial

Free Box of Magnum Condoms

Not Available Interstitial

Can I Flush Your Head in a Toilet While Blasting Hall & Oates?

Not Available Interstitial

Women, Become a Virgin Again with Secret Asian Secret

Not Available Interstitial

Vegetarian Only

Not Available Interstitial

Lost Shark

Not Available Interstitial

Free Birthday Hat for a Dog!

Not Available Interstitial

Need Mad Scientist to Clone Dog

Not Available Interstitial

1500 Live Ladybugs. Accidentally Bought While Drunk.

Not Available Interstitial

Wanted: Babysitter for Druggies

Not Available Interstitial

Seeking Bodyguard Named Betty

Not Available Interstitial

Wanna Break my Star Wars cherry?

Not Available Interstitial

Are You a Ghost Surfing the Web?

Not Available Interstitial

You Slept Naked in My Bed. Unfortunately, You Were in the Wrong Apartment.

Not Available Interstitial

A Big Healthy Shit

Not Available Interstitial

We Need a Smart Person

Not Available Interstitial

Looking for a Female to Take a Few Pictures for Cash

Not Available Interstitial

Giving Blood

Not Available Interstitial

Free 17-Foot Canoe. Not seaworthy.

Not Available Interstitial

Looking for Super Mario Sex

Not Available Interstitial

Open Coffee Shop Opportunity

Not Available Interstitial

Possibly in Need of Exorcist

Not Available Interstitial

Woman Needed for Dungeons and Dragons-based Adult Bachelor Party

Not Available Interstitial

Guitarist for Metal Band

Not Available Interstitial

Found: One Left-Handed Black Glove

Not Available Interstitial

Looking for Disciplinary Spanking

Not Available Interstitial

Mike Wallace Rookie Card Collection

Not Available Interstitial

I'll Do Anything for a Crude Oil Buyer

Not Available Interstitial

Seeking a Sniff Partner

Not Available Interstitial

Miracle Grow

Not Available Interstitial

Horse in a Hotel

Not Available Interstitial

Hey Freaks! Antique Dentist's Chair, Free!

Not Available Interstitial

Ugly Mean Cat, Free

Not Available Interstitial

Jogging Partner

Not Available Interstitial

Free Kool-Aid Costume

Not Available Interstitial

One Free Chicken to Good Home

Not Available Interstitial

Morrissey Shrine

Not Available Interstitial

To the Tailgating Cop Who Ruined My Blowjob on the QEW

Not Available Interstitial

Used Sex Toy for Sale

Not Available Interstitial

Free Toilet, Needs TLC

Not Available Interstitial

Penis Measuring

Not Available Interstitial

I Horked on Your Tits

Not Available Interstitial

Fart man Seeks Fart Woman

Not Available Interstitial

Looking for a Man with a Very Expensive Sports Car

Not Available Interstitial

Dead Moose

Not Available Interstitial

Decapitated Dolls

Not Available Interstitial

Need a Female Companion 4 Anything

Not Available Interstitial

To the Redheaded MILF Jogging in the Park Sunday Morning, Apologies

Not Available Interstitial

Woman Looking for Handsome Pro-Lifer

Not Available Interstitial

Manhood Camping

Not Available Interstitial

To the Hot Guy at Priest Lake on the 4th of July

Not Available Interstitial

Condoms and Door Knobs

Not Available Interstitial

Large Cat Statue

Not Available Interstitial

To the Gator that ATe My Pop-Bellied Pig

Not Available Interstitial

To the Woman Who Re-ended Me

Not Available Interstitial

I GOT SOMEONES DEAD GRANDMOTHER IN URN

Not Available Interstitial

To the Beautiful Lady Who Saw Me Pooping

Not Available Interstitial

Gong Ringer

Not Available Interstitial

Got Milk?

Not Available Interstitial

Keg

Not Available Interstitial

Wiggles is Lookin 4 a Loveseat

Not Available Interstitial

Capitalist Seeking Poor Artist to be Taken Advantage of

Not Available Interstitial

Girl Seeking World of Warfare Player

Not Available Interstitial

Wanted: Rollerskating Waitresses

Not Available Interstitial

Lost Your Teeth? They're Poolside

Not Available Interstitial

To The Perv from NJ in a BMW

Not Available Interstitial

Require Dragon Slayer

Not Available Interstitial

Rude Female Driver

Not Available Interstitial

15" Prince Charming Teddy Bear - Vermont Teddy Bears - $15

Not Available Interstitial

DO YOU ENJOY BEING ORALLY SATISFIED?

Not Available Interstitial

Autographed Copy of the Bible

Not Available Interstitial

I'll be dipped

Not Available Interstitial

Shaq $100,000 painting-drastic price reduction

Not Available Interstitial

Name my fish

Not Available Interstitial

Sapphires MNF - m4w - 35

Not Available Interstitial

Lots of VHS tapes - FREE!

Not Available Interstitial

Feline Lap Surrogate

Not Available Interstitial

An Open Letter to Bi-curious Drunk Girls

Not Available Interstitial

I stole your crutches

Not Available Interstitial

Latest in Pop Culture