Where will you be on December 21, 2012, the day Mayans selected as the last we’ll see? When the apocalypse goes down (or, more likely, when it doesn't), will you have the essentials to survive and stay sane? From dealing with B.O. to quenching your thirst, see below for all the must-have items you need in your end-times bunker.

1. Blow-up Doll: Cindy’s the most positive presence in your life. 2. Air Fresheners: You’ll never have to see the forest for the trees.3. Shake Weight: Your Bowflex couldn’t fit. 4. Urine Filter: The daily dose of Vitamin P. 5. Ouija Board: Nostradamus called: U R FKD.  6. Snuggie: Cindy can’t keep you warm all the time. 7. Dianetics: Tom Cruise, are you there? 8. Twinkies: Expiration date: Nevuary. 9. Respirators: They double as a bra when you want to keep Cindy decent. 10. Pen and Paper: Someone has to write the last great American novel.

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this story appears in complex's december 2012 / january 2013 issue