33. New Year's Eve (2011)
Director: Garry Marshall
Stars: Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Robert De Niro, Halle Berry, Cary Elwes, Alyssa Milano, Common, Jessica Biel, Seth Meyers
Lame Love Song: "Better Days," Goo Goo Dolls
Love Conquers: New Year's Eve
This is another one of those movies with 15 different romantic subplots and every available celebrity crammed into it. We can excuse a film built around an ensemble cast regarding Christmas or the aftermath of a war, there just aren't as many possible New Year's Eve romantic entanglements as this movie presents.
In our experience, either you get really drunk and hook up or you get really drunk and puke all over yourself after failing to hook up. Of course, a film about these two scenarios would likely be very short, which would have been a merciful relief for New Year's Eve's audiences.
On a sidenote, Robert De Niro's nurses in this film are Halle Berry and Alyssa Milano. We suspect writer Katherine Fugate raided our middle-school masturbation journal before writing this one.