4. Gigli (2003)
Director: Martin Brest
Stars: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Justin Bartha, Lainie Kazan, Christopher Walken, Lenny Venito, Missy Crider, Al Pacino
Lame Love Song: "Love the One Your With," Stephen Stills
Love Conquers: Organized crime
You already know the story of Gigli. It was dropped from the majority of theaters after one week. The film won every major Razzie Award. It killed Ben Affleck's career as a leading man (until he made his glorious comeback as an auteur). The film was even recognized by the Global Language Monitor as having a tangible impact on the English language, as Gigli was 2003's synonym du jour for "terrible."
There is one silver lining though; the word "fuck" was used 124 times in the film, which would have made 14-year-old you giggle if your older brother was masochistic enough to take you to see this story of a mobster (Affleck) falling for a lesbian (Jennifer Lopez).