6. Jack Frost (1998)
Director: Troy Miler
Stars: Michael Keaton, Kelly Preston, Dweezil Zappa, Ahmet Zappa, Moon Unit Zappa
Shitty Gift Equivalent: A magical harmonica that brings your dead family members back to life as snowmen.
How many of you who grew up with asshole fathers dream of him being reincarnated as a snowman during the holidays? That's what we thought. While Jack Frost (yes, that is the name of Michael Keaton's character in this movie) is a selfish dick to his family, he does manage to give his son a magical harmonica that will bring him back to life as a snowman when he dies. Thanks Dad! This sure makes up for you missing all of my hockey games! Surprisingly, the film was a box office failure.