Director: Nicholas Webster
Stars: John Call, Leonard Hicks, Vincent Beck, Bill McCutcheon, Donna Conforti, Pia Zadora

Apparently, on Mars, it's not easy being green. Well, make that "terrible actors covered in puke-green body paint and wearing silly headgear to make it seem like they're martians."

In the notoriously rotten Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, alien parents kidnap Old Saint Nick in order to brighten up their little kids' lives. And on the foreign planet, Mr. Claus meets extra-terrestrials who think one of his reindeer's names is "Nixon" (a moronic script oversight, no doubt), has to make toys using a machine that appears to be made of plastic, and entertains kids who use ping-pong balls as weapons.

Sound crazy enough? If watched as a so-bad-it's-good oddity, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is actually a good time. Just keep any concerns over logic, filmmaking, and general aptitude at bay.