23. Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe (1990)

Director: Damian Lee
Stars: Jesse Ventura, Sven-Ole Thorsen, Damian Lee, Jerry Levitan, Marjorie Bransfield, James Belushi

Jesse "The Body" Ventura is many things: a Vietnam War veteran, a former WWF superstar, the one-time Governor of Minnesota, and the star of one truly cornball sci-fi/action flick. In Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe, Ventura plays, you guessed it, Abraxas, a police officer from the planet Sargacia whose job of guarding said universe requires him to defeat an old friend, Secundus (Sven-Ole Thorsen), who's hell-bent on impregnating Earth's women by simply touching them.

Ventura must've intended to use Abraxas as the launching pad for a successful action hero career, but, like NFL star Brian Bosworth and Stone Cold one year later, those hopes were killed by scathing reviews and poor box office performance.