7. Alley Cats Strike (March 18, 2000)
Director: Rod Daniel
Stars: Kyle Schmid, Robert Ri'chard, Kaley Cuoco
Lesson Learned: "Fuck it, dude. Let's go bowling."
It was 2000, the very year George Bush II crooked his way into the White House. The event was some months away when Alley Cats Strike aired, but trouble was on everyone's mind. Disney aired a film about a group of outcasts living in the past, who only want to go bowling and dressing in bad baggy button ups with short sleeves. (Please, make a connection between Alley Cats Strike and The Big Lebowski, reader.)
Little did we know that, in a matter of months, we would all be like those outcasts in Bush's America, waiting for our own 7-10 split to hit and end the waking nightmare that had become our lives. (If only we could roll the ball with enough spit and gumption like Delia.) Truthfully, this scribbling has little to do with that DCOM, but when writers of our generation look back at the early 2000s, we remember the Disney Channel and our parents sobbing quietly on the phone with liberal friends, so forgive us for confusing things. —RS